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This site’s on hiatus,
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Tax Plan Gaining Traction

A tax plan is getting some traction.
With support from this and that faction.
Will there by compromising?
Is civility now rising?
The dawn of bipartisan action?

Women Who Make More, Divorce More

A woman who makes more money,
Is more likely to leave their honey.
A family journal’s finding,
On matrimonial unbinding,
May be interesting but really not funny.

New Google Feature Shows Instant Results

Google has a new feature so inspiring.
For types who find typing quite tiring.
As you input in each letter,
The output gets better,
Is saving googles of time so desiring?

Pilots In China Misstate Experience

Commercial pilots in China have been lying,
About their total experience in flying.
They plainly were fibbing,
And so their ad-libbing,
Won’t fly with the authorities. Not buying.

Mayor Daley Announces His Retirement

Chicago Mayor Daley says he’s retiring.
So the next mayor is now worth inquiring.
Is it Dart Jackson or Rahm,
Meeks Reilly, just some,
Of the folks who are in for the hiring.

Animal-Based Diets Increase Mortality Rate

The Annals of Internal Med,
Has news that carnivores may dread.
The report is alleging,
That those who are vegging,
Live longer than those who eat red.

Hartz Recalls Dog Treats

One more recall due-due to salmonella,
For Hartz and its canine clientella.
Their treats have potential,
To make them flatuencial,
But low risk to the gal or the fella.

Rip Currents Follow Hurricane Earl

It’s swell Earl’s strength is now sinking,
But swells and storms, there’s a linking.
Avoid currents that rip,
By deferring that dip.
It's good to be currently thinking.

Toshiba recalls 41,000 Laptops

Toshiba has announced a recall.
41000 laptops, an order that’s tall.
A bit overheating,
Could byte off your tweeting.
Their website has the hot info for all.

Tony Blair's New Book

A new book that Tony Blair has written,
Tells his views on George Bush and Bill Clinton.
Bush, simple but smart,
Clinton, just a soul-mate apart.
Breaking news from the XPM of Great Britain?

New Apple TV Announced

Announced is a new Apple TV.
It’s smaller and cheaper, whoopee!
And ninety-nine cents,
Is the rental expense,
For shows that used to be free.

RIM's BlackBerry and India Agreement

India and RIM have routinized
That E-mails and such can be scrutinized.
So if you gotta blackberry,
In South Asia, be wary,
Your confidential thumbs have been euthanized.

Former Gov Charlie Crist: Which Party?

Running for the Senate in Flor’da,
Charlie Crist, a Republican, yeah sort’a.
Now it’s crystal unclear,
Which party he holds dear.
Is he crystallizing partisan disorda?

Facebook Sues Teachbook

Facebook has sued some entity,
For using “Book” in its written identity.
“Teachbook” will face,
This teachable case,
For legal-beagles with a bookish bentity.

Danielle and Earl Churn in Atlantic Ocean

What’s brewing with Danielle and this Earl?
What commotion are they about to unfurl?
Their relation is stormy,
Hope they inform me,
They’ll be calm as they swirl and they twirl.

Recalled Eggs Being Pasteurized

Some egg-heads have cooked up a scheme.
A half-baked idea, it may seem.
Pasteurization,
Is the new iteration,
For cookies, cakes and ice cream.

Prius To Get Fake Motor Noise

Toyota’s Prius is a Hybrid so quiet,
That some in the street fail to eye it.
A new add-on has come,
With a motor-like hum.
Sound reason for Pri-emptors to buy it?

Two Cups of Water Helps Lose Weight

A study on folks losing weight,
Has a solution that’s liquid and great.
Hydro-dioxide pre-dinner,
Will help you get thinner,
'Cause your hunger will likely abate.

Rod Blagojevich on a Media Blitz

Ex Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich,
Is running around on a media blitz.
A mostly hung jury,
Preceded this flurry.
Does he jabber too much when he’s got an itch?

More Eggs Recalled

The egg recall is not going over easy,
Recalling gets folks scrambling, oh so busy.
From a sunny-side view,
It boils over in a few.
Are half-baked yokes about eggs all that cheesy?

Roger Clemens Charged with Perjury

Has Roger Clemens been called out on his lying?
For pitching steroidian denying?
A grand jury did balk,
At his knuckleball talk.
If they strike up a deal, is he buying?

380 Million Eggs Recalled

380 million Eggs are recalled for fear,
Salmonella may eggsist; its unclear.
With infections eggceeding,
Eggspectations, they’re ceding,
An eggsistential threat may be near.

PM Says Australia Should Become Republic

Should Australia cease to be royal?
No longer so majestically loyal?
Prime Minister Julia Gillard,
Favors such regal discard,
So a Republic would reign Aussie soil.

Romanian Diplomat Expelled From Russia

Russia has expelled a Romanian,
For activities considered subterranean.
As a diplomat spy,
Can't diplomatically deny,
They’re rushin’ to deport'm 'cause he's remainiin'

Venice to have First Female Gondolier

A first for Venetian gondoliers:
A woman will row with her peers.
Giorgia Boscolo,
Is the sola, not solo,
To do so in hundreds of years.

Red-Bearded Monkey Species Discovered

They’ve discovered some new species of monkey.
It’s red-bearded, cat-size and spunky.
But its Amazonian location,
Sees non-stop deforestation,
By those monkeeing around with their junky.

Border Security Bill is Passed

A border security bill,
Was passed by those on the hill.
A constitutional glitch,
Caused a revoting hitch.
But the nays were just about nill.

Debate on Fourteenth Amendment Heats Up

Should we amend amendment fourteen?
Are you American by birth place or by gene?
Bearing to anchor,
Is causing such rancor,
Is it fairness or fear of Lateen?

Flight Attendant Quits, Exits Plane

There was a flight attendent, so flighty,
Who flew into a rage, unsightly.
Flying out, dramatic'l-ly,
From the plane, he did flee,
Why on earth are we taking this flightly?

Verizon Unveils Motorola's Droid 2

Available now is Droid 2.
For Droid 1’ers, it's 2 good 2 be true.
With a speedier chip,
And a keyboard more hip,
A smartphone can get smarter? Who knew?

Honda Recalls Large Number of Cars

Honda is doing some recalling,
For reasons one could say are appalling.
Civic, Element, & Accord,
Have some problems aboard,
And auto-matically start free falling.

Congress Debates States Funding Bill

Should the feds help states pay the teachers?
Congress mulls a bill with such features.
Without such payoffs,
There will be big layoffs,
And then who will mind the little creatures?

Study: Women Prefer Men in Red

Women prefer men wearing some red.
That indeed is what some Journal has said.
"Experimental Psychology”,
Explains this neurology.
Does well-red suggest being well-bred?

Senate Confirms Elena Kagan for High Court

Elena Kagan was confirmed Supreme Judge.
Unlikely that the court’s idealogy will budge.
Most Republicans did oppose,
For reasons, who knows?
Unqualified or partisan grudge?

Federal Judge Rules on Same-Sex Marriage

A judge has dismissed Proposition Eight.
Californians can now marry any mate.
But who we can wed,
May not be put to bed,
‘Til the Supreme Court has their marry debate.

Static Kill of Damaged Well At Hand

BP would like to tell,
The static kill is beginning to gel.
So to end this day,
Is it fair to say,
All's well that ends such a well?

Survey on Cars Most Stolen

Which cars are most likely to be stol’n?
The Highway Loss Data Institute has been doing some poll’n’.
The most attractive swipes?
Escalade, F250, and G37 types,
While Volvos, Muranos, and Vues are left forlor’n.

Chelsea Clinton is Married

Chelsea and Marc have tied the big knot.
That’s Clinton and Mezvinsky, if you forgot.
The in-crowd was there,
To witness the pair,
Exchange their everlasting, matrimonial fiat.

Bedbugs Complaints On the Rise

An association that observes hotel pests,
Says bedbugs are bugging more guests.
So to avoid itchin’ and scratchin’,
Or an allergic reaction,
Stick with a lodger that debugs and disinfests.

Charlie Rangel Charged for Ethics Violations

Charlie Rangel is a rep from, N.Y.C.
Charged by a house ethics panel, it is he.
Did he err on his taxes?
Too friendly with PACses?
Guilty or innocent, will he plea?

Judge Blocks Arizona's Immigration Bill

A federal judge’s injunctioning,
Block’s Arizona’s new law from functioning,
The state should not meddle,
With immigration, that’s fed’ral,
Is the court right, or more out to luncheoning?

Spain's Catalonia Bans Bullfighting

Bullish news from Spanish region, Catalan.
Bullfighting will be banned, goes the plan.
Some folks have a beef,
About giving bulls grief,
Should a bull be bullied by man?

BP Posts 17.2 Billion Loss

BP’s has lost 17.2 bil.,
And much has to do with the spill.
So Dudley now leads,
While Hayward recedes,
With a sum of some 1.6 mil.

Tax Cuts Will Soon Expire

Tax cuts are about to expire.
Ergo, taxes for some may go higher.
More taxes, or less?
Two options, I guess,
Or is a compromise about to transpire?

White iPhone 4 Delayed (Again)

If you were waiting for an iPhone in white,
You’ll be blue since the supply chain is tight.
For those favoring this hue,
You’ll have nothing to do,
Till this ivory smart-phone drifts into your sight.

Court Finds Kosovo's Independence is Legal

The International Court has so writ,
That Kosovo’s independence is legit.
But if they succeed in seceding,
From this judicial proceeding,
Will others soon follow their bit?

Shirley Sherrod Controversey

Shirley Sherrod is a government official,
Who talked about things that are racial.
Her comments were skewed,
By some cyberspace dude,
Leaving others with egg in their facial.

The Most Massive Star Discovered

Scientists have discovered a huge star.
320 solar masses, the heaviest by far.
10 million times shinier than our sun,
Goes by the name R136a-one,
A good pick-up line, if you stop by a sci-bar.

China Uses More Energy than USA (Not?)

China now leads among all global, energy users,
That's an IEA study on the world's, big-power boozers.
While that figure is grossly,
Per Capita U.S. is the mostly,
Fueling debate among energetic, statistical musers.

Congress Debates Extending Jobless Benefits

Will Congress assist the unemployed?
And help them through their wageless void?
Dems: why sure!
GOP: more demure.
While the jobless get increasingly annoyed.

The President on Maine Vacation

The President is Main(e)ly on vacation,
It’s the state and State of his recreation.
If he does remain,
At his domain in Maine,
Then he’ll maintain his Main(e) situation.

Congress Approves New Financial Regulations

Congress has ratified regulations,
To protect us from pecuniary permutations.
Most Republicans said nay,
But there were a few that did stray,
Will this minify monetary machinations?

Chicken or Egg Puzzle Solved

Which came first, the Egg or the Chicky?
It’s been a query for Scientists and the picky.
Dr.Freeman submits,
With colleagues, all Brits,
It’s the chick that beats the egg, but it’s tricky.

Mel Gibson Delivers a Few Slurs

Mel Gibson has delivered some slurs,
At folks he So not prefers.
Tis not the first, such blunder,
From the actor, down under,
True character or a case of liqueurs?

Two studies Hail Two Vitamins for the Brain

Two studies have hailed two Vitamins,
Which promote your brain’s working’ns.
Reduce dementia, that’s E.
Less Parkinson’s, more D.
So choose wisely when pickin’ your ingredien’s.

Spain Wins the World Cup

Spain is the World Cup Champ, that’s soccer.
The score was one zip, what a rocker!
So the Dutch are second,
Better than third, it’s reckoned.
Espania, can’t dis her, rib her, or mock her.

LeBron James to Play for the Miami Heat

A pronouncement in B-Ball from LeBron James.
It’s Miami that will host his hooping games.
In Cleveland, they’re mad,
New York/Chicago, so sad.
Is he really as good as he claims?

The U.S. and Russia Have Spy-Swapped

The U.S and Russia have spy-swapped.
And now, this strange saga has finally-stopped.
So there won’t be more snoopin’,
Even for that one who’s good lookin’,
Til' someone delivers the movie rights-opt.

U.S. Sues Arizona Over Immigration

U.S. sues Arizona over immigration.
What laws apply to the states or the nation?
The Feds says it’s us,
And now lawyers will fuss,
Around their constitutional and fee-based interpretation.

Heat Wave Hits the Northeast

The Northeast is incredibly Hot,
Comfy, cool and balmy, it’s not.
It feels like a sauna,
From Maine to Carolauna,
So keep an eye out on Mom, Dad and your tot.

Economists Press for a Large Stimulus

Some economists advocate a large stimulus,
Without it, recovery would be minimus.
But there are others who fret,
About the growing national debt,
Is long term or short term the calculus?

Testing a New Large Oil Skimmer, "A Whale"

They are testing a very large vessel
Named "A Whale", oil spills is what it will wrestle.
Spanning over one thousand feet,
A length no other skimmer can beat,
Let’s all hope it can clean up all this messel.

Winner of Hot Dog Eating Contest

Usually a champion in sports earns a score,
Could be 1, might be 10, maybe more,
This year's Hot Dog Winner,
Speaking frankfurterly, no thinner,
Is Joey Chestnut, the victor at fifty-four.

Jobless Numbers Up, Rate Down

There’s news on jobs and the economy,
You could say it’s an employment anomaly.
The total numbers took a hit,
But the rate enhanced a bit.
Due to all of those who are discouragee?

Obama will Talk Immigration Reform

Today we all talk immigration,
Cause the Pres. will speak, reformation.
With Democrats: ¿Un poco?
To the GOP’s: ¡No, loco!
It's all about fairness, security and legalization.

China and Taiwan Sign a Trade Pact

China and Taiwan have agreed,
To a trade deal they apparently need,
Yet the two countries insist,
That the other can’t exist,
So does commerce trump national creed?

Russian Spies Arrested

The U.S. has detained Russian Spies.
For years they dodged the law’s eyes.
No Olga, No Boris,
Nor Ivan were among us,
American names were their clever disguise.

Senator Byrd from West Virginia

The Senate has lost Robert Byrd.
Could say he was a constitutional Nerd.
Reknowned for his fiddle,
His orations weren’t little,
Couldn’t tell if they were brilliant or absurd.

U.S.Eliminated From World Cup

The soccer team from Ghana,
Beat the U.S. by just one-huh?
They shattered the World Cup dream,
Of the U.S.A. team,
So wait ‘til next 4 year span-yah!

Tennis Match Lasts Over Three Days

Wimbledon had a very, very long match,
Isner would lead that Mahut would catch,
For over three days, their serves were returned,
Eyes were crossed, and necks were churned,
And many left with a pain in the atch.

Study of Brain Yields LInks to Personality Types

Have you read the journal Psychological Sci?
Is your personality strange; want to know why?
Your disposition, they attain,
Relates to the structure of your brain,
Like being conscientious, agreeable, and shy.

Deep Drilling Ban Lifted

A judge has lifted the ban,
On deep water drilling, now we can,
We've gone from yes to a no,
And then again, to and fro,
Can someone please come up with a plan?

BP'S CEO Goes Out on his Yacht

BP's CEO took a ride on his Yacht,
All this scrutiny was getting way too hot.
Where he sailed, water's clean,
And no stink of that gasoline,
Free from birdies and fishies that rot.

China Free's the Yuan

China’s has set the Yuan free,
And you ask how can that be?
Well it’s not freedom per say,
Just the currency that’s in play,
A start if only financialee.

Congressman Joe Barton's Apology

Joe Barton is a GOP Texan rep,
Thinks the President took an unlawful step
You see, the Pres told BP,
Pay up, or you’’ll see!
Who's the smart one; who's inep?

BP's CEO Called to the Hill

BP's CEO was called to the Hill,
To admit wrongdoing, they would constantly grill,
If yes, lawsuits would fly,
If no, it's perjury: that's a lie,
So his memory of errors went nil.

New Cell Phone Warning Law

A new law has passed in San Fran,
There’s concern that cell phones possibly can,
Subject you to rays,
That may limit your days,
And pay a penalty for canceling their plan.

BP Compensation Escrow

The President has something to say,
About how BP’s disbursements to others will pay,
Compensation through escrow.
They will pay for the mess, no?
It's best if a third party is in play.

Alvin Greene for Senate?

Have you heard of Alvin Greene?
His campaign for S.C. senate was mighty lean.
He did pay the filing fee,
About it; now he’s the dem’s nominee.
And no one seems to know where he’s beene.

Double-Dip Recession

Some economists have offered this tip,
That the recession is doing a double-dip,
Others say no,
It’s just way to slow,
Is this analytics or just shots from the hip?

Soccer's World Cup

South Africa is hosting the World Cup,
In the U.S., it more like what’s up?
Europeans will be beaming,
Latin Americans will be screaming,
State-side, will any such fervor erup?

Pause in Deep Offshore Drilling

They are now debating the pause,
In allowing deep drilling because,
If you do, you’ll get oil,
While risking great spoil,
Long term or short term, which has the flaws?

Primary Election Results

In the elections, most winners weren’t men,
Ladies triumphed, again and again.
But elections are binary,
And those were all primary,
We'll see, if there’s a shifting of gen.

Obama is Peeved

Obama fumed he’ll starting kicking some ass,
Now for some, that seems all a bit crass.
Some start slow and serene,
Others are quicker to get mean,
But we'all get there given enough gas.

Apple's Done Announcement

Welcome the iOS and iPhone 4,
With HD, LED, and much more
Facetime and Retina,
Lost? Where’ve you been-a?
Is geeking that much of technological bore?

Apple's Pending Announcement

Next week, something's up at Apple,
For guessers, it’s something to grapple.
Is it a new dazzling iPhone?
Better-faster-cheaper than the one that iOwn?
If not, they’ll get a bad rapple.

Japan's new Prime Minister

Japan’s new leader is named Naoto Kahn,
Before, he was the key Financial Mahn.
He’s the fifth leader in four years,
So please hold back the tears,
If sooner, not later, he’s gone.

Perfect Game Not

There once was a Pitcher, Armando,
A perfect game he was about to land-o.
The last out would not be,
Because the umpire could not see
Leaving us all a bit astound-oh.

May Market Closing

There once was stock market in May,
That tumbled day after day.
Was it the troubles in Greece?
Or North Korea threatening Peace?
Or a market correction, who’s to say?

Introduction

There once was regular newsie,
Who found news in prose rather snoozy.
So with Limericks in mind,
A blog he did find,
And hopefully you’ll find it amusee.